Thursday, July 21, 2011

Roorkee Revisited (Am I running away?)

This post comes at least after 33 days after it should have been on this space. But thanks to my busy schedule(read laziness), I finally get time to sit and write it down. I visited Roorkee for a couple of days during 16-17 June last month. I reached Haridwar on 16th morning and the moment I sat in a bus for Roorkee, I was all beaming with excitement.  finally reached Roorkee at around 3 in the morning and I can still remember the thrill I had while having a walk from the bus stand to Ganga Bhawan. Nothing had changed, the same guards asking the same question on the gate, which they ask to all the strangers looking people (this time I actually was one), the same silence of early morning (early night by 'Thomsonian' standards), the same old buildings, the same old faculty quarters, the only thing changed probably were my feelings. 

The day was a cool, calm and quiet one. Slept through the first half, did time pass on net as I used to do during my college days, and yes felt a little nostalgic too at times. Spent the second half of the day with Shashi and Prashant, had nice time getting into the bakar like the old days. And while the bakar about all the unimportant things of the world was going on, I realized that despite I feel bad about the college getting over, I actually don't want to be in the college again. Yeah, I don't want to be studying engineering at IIT Roorkee again. I actually want to move ahead of the college campus and college life, the thought I was desperate about while I was in college. I remembered that I didn't particularly feel good while I was in college. And probably all the sweet and nostalgic memories of college now haunt me because, and only because, my life is not as comfortable as it was in college. Now I have to think of a lot of things, take care about what is happening and see that  I keep my sanity in the fast running world. 

This is a difficult job to do, but isn't this what I wanted in college? In college, I fantasied almost all the time about this kind of life which was challenging and not all cozy.

The next day was a busy one for me and by the time it got over, I actually wanted to run away to Delhi, my city, the place which makes me feel alive, which makes me happy!

And now when I am at my low and feel bad about the difficulties of life, and feel nostalgic about my student life, I ask myself a question: "Am I running away?"