For the past couple of days, I was thinking to write this post but had been a bit busy (and lazy too). For some reasons the idea of friendship is not leaving my mind for the past few days. Why do we become friends? And why are friends needed? What leads to great friendship? How do we define great friendship?
After thinking a lot, what I conclude is that it’s again a matter of the old ‘Demand-Supply’ equation. The only difference is that the demand and supply here are at emotional and psychological levels and not at the material level. We generally need something from our friends and in turn supply something the later needs, and this leads to the basic friendship equation.
And perhaps this is the reason we choose our friends and don’t accept ‘anyone’ who comes our way. When we are kids, our chuddy-buddies are the ones with whom we enjoy the most playing, getting soiled, shouting and screaming. Here also, there is a lot of choices made by kids. Every kid is not happy playing the childish games with every other kid. When we start going to school, we again make choices based on our needs, may be the need is to have a company while coming or going to school, or that of sharing the lunch box, or even academic needs.
When we come to college, the ones included in our friend circles are the guys with whom we like to have fun or share our thoughts. Yes, there are other reasons too which lead us to make friends at the college level like complementary skills for various activities to be carried out together. Later, after college, our friends are those with whom we can share the chaos of our lives and from whom we expect great solace.
Man (and woman too) is a social animal and needs others of same species to live a contented life. As we are getting into the culture of moving into joint families and leaving homes for work or study, we need more and more friends around us to take care of us, to pull us out of difficulties and to make us feel their soothing presence at the times of need. And perhaps this is why our friends become our extended family at a later stage in life.
So, I guess, great friends are those who satisfy many of our needs with less resistance and make us feel better than others. They are the ones who don’t think us to be fools when we behave like complete idiots. And at times, love our complete idiotic behaviour as well. They are the ones in front of whom we are comfortable enough to reveal our true selves and they love us for what we truly are.
So, can it be concluded that friends are made to fulfil some of the needs at different points in our lives? Well, I think though friends do this work of catering to the needs to friends but I would refrain from terming it ‘attachment for need’ partnership. Let us leave the human nature the way it is. And keep making friends and loving them. :-)
P.S. Happy Valentine Day! May the great saint’s soul rest in peace!